He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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