We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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