just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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