we have officially lost it.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
