how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
