you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
