Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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