Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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