Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
