I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
