Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
