It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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