Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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