He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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