he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
