1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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