seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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