Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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