i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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