he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
