Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
