I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
