I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
