Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
