Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
