If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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