just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize