xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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