sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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