I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
