Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
