do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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