Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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