If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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