just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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