i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
