We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
