i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
