So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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