I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
