Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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