You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
