all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
