my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize