i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
