They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
