who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
