Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
NoShamevember. You game?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
