how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
