The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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