i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
no you cant smoke seaweed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
