The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
