She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
