the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They took my balls.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
