How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
