Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
