So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
be right there i have to get my cape
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
