That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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