I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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