he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize