Small penises have feelings too.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
