don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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