my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
