i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize