Christians are straight up FREAKS
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
