So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
