I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize