4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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