do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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