just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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