Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize