how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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